What are you focusing on? Things you can’t control, or those you can?
The other day I was chatting with someone who was telling me all about a co-worker who, in their opinion, wasn’t pulling their weight at work. They also told me about a conversation they had with someone over the phone and how they didn’t like that other person’s opinion or the tone of how they expressed it. All of these things were so prevalent in their mind that it was stressing them out and keeping them awake at night.
In another conversation, a client told me about how angry he gets when someone cuts him up in the car, or if he thinks they drive too slowly. That anger would lead to shouting and cursing. That emotion and those thoughts could take over his whole day.
And I think we could all reel off dozens of other examples; the way that e-mail was phrased, the look on someone else’s face, that worry about what others think about us, that thing that doesn’t go to plan, that person who is late, that response we get that isn’t what we expected or wanted, that person who didn’t say thank you when we let them pass or we did them a kind deed.
It’s so easy to get caught in the cycle of focusing on things that we can’t do much about and then finding that those thoughts and that focus leads to us experiencing wave after wave of negative emotion.