Confidence and Self Esteem

How to Stop Overthinking in Social Situations

by Dan Regan | Apr 13, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks, Confidence and Self Esteem

How to Stop Overthinking in Social Situations (Without Forcing Yourself)

Do you have a habit of overthinking in social situations?

If you find yourself overthinking in social situations, it’s usually linked to patterns of anxiety, self-focus, and a natural desire to come across well – rather than a lack of social ability.

You’re physically present but the whole time you are mentally elsewhere. That little voice in your head just keeps on going. You might struggle to join in or find that things have moved on while you were thinking of what to say or how to say it. It’s like having an non stop running commentary criticising, analysing and overthinking every detail. It stops you relaxing and being yourself.

Around the people you feel most comfortable with you can relax and be yourself. You can be yourself and the words come easily.

Yet that overthinking in social situations creates a whole different, more anxious and awkward, experience. Many people struggle with overthinking in social situations, especially when they’re already feeling slightly self-conscious or under pressure.

You might notice it most in conversations.

You say something and then immediately start thinking:

How To Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

by Dan Regan | Apr 6, 2026 | Confidence and Self Esteem

How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem (Without Forcing It)

You might feel like you ‘should’ be more confident. Yet you may struggle with how to build your confidence and self-esteem.

If you’re trying to build confidence and self-esteem, it’s usually not about ‘trying harder – it’s about understanding and changing the patterns of thinking and anxiety that are getting in the way.

When I struggled with low confidence and lo self-esteem, I just wanted to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Others seemed to do it with ease but I had to try and hide my anxiety and force myself to do things. IT was exhausting. Somehow my confidence and self-esteem didn’t build no matter what I tried. I always ended up back thinking and feeling the same old way.

You may look at others and assume they feel comfortable, self-assured, and relaxed – while internally, things feel very different for you.

Many people searching for ways to build confidence and self-esteem feel this same internal pressure – wanting to feel different, but not knowing how. You might find yourself:

overthinking what you say

doubting yourself afterwards

worrying about how you came across

telling yourself that you can’t do it

talking yourself out of things

feeling pressure to get things right

From the outside, everything might look fine. But on the inside, it can feel like a constant mental effort.

Why Do I Care So Much What People Think?

by Dan Regan | Apr 5, 2026 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Why Do I Care So Much What People Think? (And How to Feel More Confident)

It may be a common thought that goes through your mind, ‘why do I care too much what people think?’

If you feel like you care too much about what people think, it’s usually linked to patterns of anxiety, overthinking, and a strong desire to be accepted or get things ‘right’.

You might find yourself replaying conversations, worrying about how you came across, or thinking about what other people might be thinking about you. It can dominate your mind and stop you enjoying things.

Even small situations – a comment, a look, or something you said – can stay on your mind long after the moment has passed.

From the outside, it might seem like nothing has happened. But internally, it can feel difficult to switch off. You reply and go over and over it.

This is more common than many people realise, especially for people who are thoughtful, aware, and used to wanting to get things ‘right’.

When I struggled with social anxiety, I would often worry about why I cared too much about what other people think. Before events I would get anxious about what might happen. When around others, I was constantly tense as I scanned and analysed how I was coming across. I would overthink what to do and say. I would be there but I was too busy in my own head to really be there. Afterwards, I would reply events and focus upon all the that I could be judged negatively about.

It’s a common thing that anxiety clients in Ely tell me about. The worry about what other people think leads to overthinking, anxiety and a struggle to be yourself.

Low Confidence and Anxiety

by Dan Regan | Feb 4, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks, Confidence and Self Esteem

Low Confidence and Anxiety: Why They’re Often Linked

Low confidence and anxiety often go hand in hand. Many people notice that when anxiety becomes more persistent, their confidence gradually fades – even in situations that once felt manageable.

In the same way, if you struggle with low confidence, then it leads to worry, self-doubt, anxiety and dread. You worry about messing up, being found out, what others think and about whether you have the ability to do things. You may constantly criticise yourself and be harsh about what you do or what you feel you can’t do. This leads to feeling low and anxiety and so you avoid things and stay firmly within your comfort zone. You may find you take things personally and struggle when challenges arise or things go wrong.

Back when I used to struggle with anxiety and low confidence, there were some situations where I felt totally fine, comfortable and self-assured. Yet, there were other times where I was caught in a spiral of fear, doubt and worry. I would avoid things, escape from things and work hard to disguise how I really felt. I would try to orchestrate things to make them feel more manageable for me and would worry about expressing my opinion in case there was any backlash that could make me crumble.

Sometimes you may be able to hide how you feel from others. Yet the same cycle of negative thought and feelings repeat internally over and over. You get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, your mind races as you think the worst, and the anxiety and doubt increase.

People I work with in Ely often describe feeling less sure of themselves, more self-critical, or worried about how they come across to others. Over time, this can affect work, relationships and everyday decisions.

Confidence Hypnotherapy

by Dan Regan | Apr 8, 2025 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Confidence Hypnotherapy

Would you benefit from confidence hypnotherapy sessions?

A lack of confidence can have a massively limiting impact upon your life. There are things you want to do, and that you see others doing, yet you doubt your own ability and capability to take those positive steps forward. You may feel anxious around certain people and in certain situations and circumstances. You overthink, worry about being judged or failing, and talk yourself out of things.

Many people live their lives with a constant stream of negative inner dialogue that tells them they aren’t good enough. You may dwell upon perceived mistakes or the things you’ve said and done. It may feel that you never quite hit the mark in your interactions and in the things you do. You may worry what others think, have difficulty saying no and struggle with compliments. And you overthink and feel anxious. It can feel like you are faking it while everyone else seems to have their stuff in life together.

A lack of confidence stops you enjoying life to the fullest. You feel bad as you criticise and blame yourself, often assuming that things must be your fault. You berate yourself inside your own negative thoughts and you stay in your comfort zone, avoiding new challenges. You may compare yourself negatively to others, worry about what others think and fear making mistakes.

A lack of confidence permeates into all aspects of your life. You may doubt your ability to cope with challenges, avoid social situations and hold yourself back in your career.

Confidence hypnotherapy can help you to start feeling more comfortable in yourself and in your life. You start to trust in yourself and you gain a sense of perspective, knowing that whatever happens, you’ll deal with it. You start to feel good enough and you encourage and support yourself as you navigate your life and move forward in ways that please you.

Confidence Playing Football – Hypnotherapy Ely and Newmarket

by Dan Regan | Mar 9, 2025 | Confidence and Self Esteem, Sports Improvement

Confidence Playing Football – Hypnotherapy Ely and Newmarket

Has your confidence playing football taken a dip? Or maybe you know you have more to give on the pitch but your confidence when playing football isn’t where you want it to be.

Anyone who plays football knows that where your head is at before and during a game will affect how you play. It could be day to day anxiety and stress that you carry with you onto the pitch. Maybe your general confidence and self-esteem levels aren’t as high as you would like them to be and this plays out in your game. And for many players, their own tendency to worry about being judged negatively or to be overly harsh and self-critical towards themselves, can impact on performance.

I’ve worked with players who make one mistake on the pitch and then their thoughts are stuck on that moment even when the game has moved on. Something shouted at you from someone on the side of the pitch can get in your head and you start playing with doubt and nerves. You miss a tackle, get booked, mess up a shot a goal, make an error and you concede or any other number of perceived or actual mistakes and mishaps that can be part of a game.

You start to dwell upon your performance and what you think you did, or didn’t, do well in the game. Instead of playing naturally you overthink and force things. You start to feel more nervous and anxious in the warm up and even in training. You start to think that you aren’t good enough. Your head can drop and you spend large parts of the game more focused in your own imagination and negative self-talk rather than responding to what is going on around you. Your performance suffers and you feel even worse.

When your confidence levels while playing football are good, everything just flows. You respond instinctively, your concentration levels are good, things just click and you are in the zone where you play at your best. Your thoughts, feelings, ability and performance all come together for you in these moments. Yet when your confidence levels dip, everything becomes harder. You don’t play to your best, things just seem a bit off for you and you can even start to lose the joy for the game that you once had. That’s where football confidence hypnotherapy can step in so that you can step up.

Hypnosis Downloads Review Video

by Dan Regan | Mar 28, 2024 | Confidence and Self Esteem, Hypnotherapy Hypnosis and NLP

Hypnosis Downloads Review Video

Earlier in the year I headed back into the recording to add to the ever expanding collection of hypnosis downloads that I have available to help to support you with aspects of mental health and positive psychology. Alongside my ever popular free hypnosis download for relaxation, there are hypnosis audios to help you with overcoming anxiety, boosting confidence and self-esteem and a load more besides (so do head over to my shop and take a look!).

My hypnosis audios are a part of how I help my clients to successfully tackle their issues and achieve their goals. I also gets lots of positive feedback from those who have purchased them to use as a powerful stand alone method for priming their minds to move forward positively. I spend many hours behind the scenes crafting the audios and so it’s always brilliant to hear how well received they are and how much they benefit those who regularly use them.

If you want to know more about how they have helped others then you can find my hypnosis download reviews in the What People Say section of this website or under individual products over in my shop. A massive thank you to everyone who has left feedback, it is greatly appreciated and means a lot.

One of my recent hypnosis downloads was about taming your inner critic. Changing what you habitually say to yourself inside your own head, as well as how you say it to yourself, is one of the most powerful ways to start feeling better in yourself. Instead of negatively, harshness, criticism, self doubt and rumination, your inner dialogue can become more encouraging, supportive and understanding. This means you feel more and more capable, resilient and comfortable in your own skin. This hypnosis dialogue is designed to help you to move forward along that path from putting yourself down to boosting yourself up.

And I’m very grateful to one of hypnosis download listeners for recording a video review about how the audio has helped her (link to the video below).

Tame Your Inner Critic Hypnosis Download Now Available

by Dan Regan | Mar 1, 2024 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Tame Your Inner Critic Hypnosis Download Now Available

Do you have a habit of criticising yourself and putting yourself down? A lot of people struggle with their own inner self-talk and thinking, let alone with having to deal with all of the other challenges that can come their way in life.

Your inner critic is that voice in your head and in your self-talk where you habitually put yourself down, criticise yourself and exacerbate your perceived failings. It leads to feeling low, bad and lacking confidence in yourself. If that inner critical thinking has been there for a long time, you may not even notice you are doing it. You get lost in a cycle of negativity, doubt and rumination over what you do, how you do it and who you consider yourself to be.

It can be incredibly frustrating to seemingly be your own worst enemy and to undermine and sabotage how you feel and what you do. You may tell yourself that you aren’t good enough or worthy, that you will fail and that you don’t deserve to be happy. You overlook your positive qualities (the ones others may mention) and instead amplify and focus upon your own perceived failings. It becomes a cycle of feeling bad and limiting yourself.

Yet it doesn’t have to be this way. You can start to become more encouraging, supportive and kind to yourself. This will mean feeling better and more motivated to take action on your goals and to trust in your ability to successfully handle any challenges. You can accept yourself and recognise that no-one is perfect and that there is always potential for learning and growth.

Tame Your Inner Critic – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

by Dan Regan | Dec 27, 2023 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Tame Your Inner Critic – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

Every waking moment you have a constant stream of thoughts running through your mind. You have ideas, you make decisions, evaluate things, replay things, imagine things and talk to yourself in an ongoing stream of thought as you go about your day. Much of the time you may not even notice this is particularly happening. Sometimes these thoughts are encouraging, positive and helpful and there may be moments where they are random or unfocused and your thoughts just seem to flow in all sorts of directions.

And, of course, there are those thoughts that cause negativity, low mood and that limit you and hold you back in a variety of ways. Sometimes the things you might say to yourself in your head are not that kind. You can berate yourself, criticise yourself and put yourself down about something you have or haven’t said or done or a mistake you think you’ve made. Long after everyone else has moved on and forgotten about it, you can still find yourself criticising yourself over and over inside your own head.

You may even judge and be harsh about yourself as a person, putting down who you are, what you do and what you are capable of achieving. You wouldn’t let a stranger talk to someone you loved in the same way yet there you are putting yourself down all the time. And it has real life consequences in how you feel and what you do.

This inner critic is that part of you that grabs hold when you put yourself down and criticise yourself. You tell yourself you’re a failure, that you always mess up, that you’re a loser and that you aren’t good enough. And perhaps the worst bit is that this inner voice of yours follow you around all day, reminding you of every little mistake you’ve ever made.

Yet because this all occurs inside your own head it is very possible to tame your inner critic and to learn how to encourage and support yourself in ways that all you to move forward confidently and capably.

Dress To Impress! How Your Clothes Influence Thoughts and Feelings

by Dan Regan | Oct 13, 2023 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Dress To Impress! How Your Clothes Influence Thoughts and Feelings – Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket

We’ve all heard the phrase ‘dress to impress’ where it is suggested that you dress impressively to look good to others and to potentially influence their reaction towards you. Yet could it be that the clothes you wear have more influence over your own thoughts and feelings?

Could it be that your clothes influence thoughts and feelings so that you feel confident and feel good in yourself in ways that certainly could influence how you are perceived by others, as well as boosting your own self-esteem and positive self image.

Even as I write this I’m reminded of power dressing in the 1980s, a fashion style that suggested wearing certain clothes as a form of establishing authority in professional environments. Whilst designer labels were seen as a thing by both sexes at the time, power dressing was the fashion style that was associated with women standing up in environments traditionally dominated by men. And whilst I’m no fashion expert (obviously!), certain clothes and styles of clothes have always been associated with certain values, views and social groups and to either fit in or to stand out from others.

And recently I was reminded of the use of clothes to influence how you feel by a client who told me that wearing certain accessories and clothing styles helped her to feel more confident when public speaking.

Of course, if you subjectively perceive that what you wear affects your thoughts and feelings then it most likely will and that could either be helpful and positive or negative and a hindrance. And, there is evidence to support that what we wear influences how we think, feel and act.

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