Overcoming Social Anxiety – Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket
As someone who used to struggle with social anxiety, nothing beats that feeling when a client tells me how good they feel after their hypnotherapy sessions when that anxiety around others no longer limits them.
Social anxiety can stop you doing the things you want to do and leave you trapped in a never ending cycle of negative rumination and self-criticism. You want to go out and do things and so you make plans with others, only to get so anxious that you cancel just before the event. You feel anxious and worried before going to an event to the point where if you go then you don’t really enjoy it because you are so tense and worried about messing up or being judged by others. After being around others you hyper analyse every word you said, action you took and how you perceive others responded to you. You beat yourself up (maybe for days) and feel like you aren’t good enough and that no one will ever want to spend time with you again.
Social anxiety can make you feel like there is something wrong with you, that you can’t feel comfortable and do what other people seemingly do with ease, and that you will never fit in. All of this is made worse because there are times when you are totally relaxed in yourself and can just enjoy being yourself, perhaps around those you are especially close to. Yet factors such as new people, bigger crowds or where you may feel under the spotlight a bit can exacerbate your social anxiety to levels where you are just lost in your own head, can’t think straight and just want to get away to somewhere you feel more safe.
Yet, just as with any anxiety, social anxiety is a bunch of learnt thoughts, feelings and behaviours that at some point you developed, then repeated, then inadvertently got good at and then you found it all became seemingly automatic and habitual. You know you can talk to others, you know you can go places and do things and that you are capable and a decent person, yet the anxious emotions, beliefs and thoughts cloud everything and drag you back into that mass of worry.
Overcoming Social Anxiety
I’m regularly asked how I got into my current role as a hypnotherapist here in Ely and Newmarket. And the answer is that I struggled with social anxiety and low self-esteem for year after year, never quite finding a sustained way out of it until I tried hypnotherapy. And not the sort of hypnotherapy where you delve into your childhood over and over, instead the sort of hypnotherapy where you change your thoughts, feelings and beliefs here and now in a way that creates a more positive way of relating with yourself and the world around you. From there I learnt more and more about the mind and about how successful psychological change happens. And now, some twelve plus years later, I still enjoy the regular buzz of helping people move past anxiety (and the even bigger buzz when they write a review and tell the world about how you don’t have to struggle with unnecessary anxiety and worry).
A large part of how social anxiety prevails is down to all of the worry before, during and after social events. You worry about what others will think about you, about doing something stupid, about having nothing to talk about, about looking anxious and going blank or any other multitude of imagined and created anxious scenarios. You believe that somehow you aren’t good enough, aren’t capable enough, are less than others or that you are not worthy of happiness and being liked.
You may find that a few drinks relaxes you and calms the worry for a while, yet that isn’t a healthy, or always helpful, strategy. And many people suffer the anxiety and lowness that follows alcohol and that makes going over and over everything that happened a tortuous and miserable affair in your head.
You may have also noticed a tendency to be self critical and harsh towards yourself in other aspects of your life, always discounting the successes and compliments and then mentally magnifying the perceived mistakes and failures.
Alongside other forms of anxiety, low self esteem and social anxiety are pretty common problems that people come to see me for help to overcome. I’ve covered some aspects of social anxiety, and the research into worrying what other people think and being judged negatively, in these previous articles that you may want to visit:
And one recent client I worked with very kindly put a few words about her hypnotherapy sessions for social anxiety into a Google review:
“I’d highly recommend Dan to anybody looking for help with their mental health. Social anxiety and low confidence impacted my daily life, and he’s helped me overcome this and see an improvement in myself that I never imagined was possible. I made progress in every hypnotherapy session and he’s given me so many coping techniques to maintain this in the future. I can’t thank Dan enough for everything he’s done to support me” (May 2023).
Fantastic stuff and I’m so pleased for her!
And if you are struggling with the worry, stress and lowness of anxiety and low self esteem then do get in touch, because as the evidence shows, you can instead learn how to relax, feel comfortable and just be your true great self when in social situations and around others.
To your health and happiness,
Award Winning Anxiety Hypnotherapist in Ely & Newmarket
Struggling with anxiety, stress, worry and fear and need some help? Find out how I can help with a Complimentary Hypnotherapy Strategy Session. Learn more here: Appointments
Find out what dozens of other people have said after their hypnotherapy sessions with Dan: Hypnotherapy Testimonials
And check out these powerful hypnosis downloads that can start helping you right away with anxiety, confidence and more: Hypnosis Downloads