Dan’s Blog

How To Build Confidence and Self-Esteem

by Dan Regan | Apr 6, 2026 | Confidence and Self Esteem

How to Build Confidence and Self-Esteem (Without Forcing It)

You might feel like you ‘should’ be more confident. Yet you may struggle with how to build your confidence and self-esteem.

If you’re trying to build confidence and self-esteem, it’s usually not about ‘trying harder – it’s about understanding and changing the patterns of thinking and anxiety that are getting in the way.

When I struggled with low confidence and lo self-esteem, I just wanted to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Others seemed to do it with ease but I had to try and hide my anxiety and force myself to do things. IT was exhausting. Somehow my confidence and self-esteem didn’t build no matter what I tried. I always ended up back thinking and feeling the same old way.

You may look at others and assume they feel comfortable, self-assured, and relaxed – while internally, things feel very different for you.

Many people searching for ways to build confidence and self-esteem feel this same internal pressure – wanting to feel different, but not knowing how. You might find yourself:

overthinking what you say

doubting yourself afterwards

worrying about how you came across

telling yourself that you can’t do it

talking yourself out of things

feeling pressure to get things right

From the outside, everything might look fine. But on the inside, it can feel like a constant mental effort.

Why Do I Care So Much What People Think?

by Dan Regan | Apr 5, 2026 | Confidence and Self Esteem

Why Do I Care So Much What People Think? (And How to Feel More Confident)

It may be a common thought that goes through your mind, ‘why do I care too much what people think?’

If you feel like you care too much about what people think, it’s usually linked to patterns of anxiety, overthinking, and a strong desire to be accepted or get things ‘right’.

You might find yourself replaying conversations, worrying about how you came across, or thinking about what other people might be thinking about you. It can dominate your mind and stop you enjoying things.

Even small situations – a comment, a look, or something you said – can stay on your mind long after the moment has passed.

From the outside, it might seem like nothing has happened. But internally, it can feel difficult to switch off. You reply and go over and over it.

This is more common than many people realise, especially for people who are thoughtful, aware, and used to wanting to get things ‘right’.

When I struggled with social anxiety, I would often worry about why I cared too much about what other people think. Before events I would get anxious about what might happen. When around others, I was constantly tense as I scanned and analysed how I was coming across. I would overthink what to do and say. I would be there but I was too busy in my own head to really be there. Afterwards, I would reply events and focus upon all the that I could be judged negatively about.

It’s a common thing that anxiety clients in Ely tell me about. The worry about what other people think leads to overthinking, anxiety and a struggle to be yourself.

Why Panic Attacks Feel So Frightening – Ely Standard Feature

by Dan Regan | Apr 3, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

Why Panic Attacks Feel So Frightening – Ely Standard Feature

I was recently featured in the Ely Standard discussing panic attacks – something I see regularly in my work as an anxiety therapist in Ely.

Panic attacks are one of the most frightening experiences people can have, and many people initially believe something serious is happening to their body.

Many people describe their first panic attack as feeling like a medical emergency, such as a heart attack or something seriously wrong with their body.

The feelings are so overwhelming that you can become anxious about having another panic attack. You get caught in a loop of dreading the worst and felling on edge.

This is completely understandable.

You may start to avoid certain situations where you have previously experienced a panic attack. And, because your mind works on patterns, you may find they start to occur more frequently.

Panic attacks feel frightening, especially when you don’t know what is happening or how to deal with it.

High Functioning Anxiety

by Dan Regan | Apr 2, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

High Functioning Anxiety: Why You Can Seem Fine But Feel Struggled Inside

High functioning anxiety: From the outside, everything might look fine – you’re coping, getting things done, and keeping things together. But on the inside, it can feel very different.

You may be working, managing responsibilities, supporting others and appearing calm and capable. People may even describe you as organised, reliable or successful.

Externally you come across as confident and self assured.

But internally, it can feel very different.

You struggle with overthinking, negative thinking and you may worry ab out messing up or being judged. You push yourself and place yourself under pressure to perform. It may feel exhausting.

This is more common than many people realise, especially among people who are used to being capable, reliable, and ‘holding things together.’

High functioning anxiety often means you are coping on the outside, while feeling under constant pressure on the inside.

How to Support Someone with Anxiety

by Dan Regan | Apr 1, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

How to Support Someone With Anxiety (Without Making It Worse)

One of the most common questions I get asked from people in Ely is, how can I support someone with anxiety? When someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, it’s natural to want to help.

It can be difficult to know what to say or do when someone you care about is struggling with anxiety – especially when you can see they’re finding things hard, but nothing you try seems to make a lasting difference.

You may find yourself trying to reassure them, offer advice, or encourage them to ‘push through’ what they’re feeling.

There may be times when you also feel helpless and frustrated, especially if you have no personal experience of anxiety.

From the outside you know that their negative thoughts and feelings aren’t logical and rational. They may also know this, but that doesn’t stop the endless cycle of thinking the worst and feeling distressed.

Often, it’s not always clear what actually helps – and what can unintentionally make things harder. Supporting someone with anxiety isn’t about finding the perfect words – it’s about understanding what they’re experiencing and how anxiety works.

Anxiety in Ely: Why More People Are Struggling

by Dan Regan | Mar 31, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

Anxiety in Ely: Why More People Are Struggling (And What Helps)

Today I’m taking about the experience of anxiety in Ely. In recent years, more people in Ely and the surrounding areas have been reaching out for help with anxiety.

Anxiety is becoming more common in Ely not because something is “wrong”, but because many people are living with ongoing pressure, mental overload, and difficulty switching off.

In my work locally, I’ve seen a noticeable increase in people experiencing overthinking, panic, and ongoing feelings of being on edge – even when life appears to be going well on the surface.

Some describe it as constant overthinking and being unable to switch off. Others notice physical symptoms, panic, or a feeling of being overwhelmed that doesn’t seem to switch off.

The cycle of thinking the worst and feeling anxious starts to take hold – and then keeps going.

While anxiety has always existed, it is something that many people are noticing more in their day-to-day lives. And it is a pattern that can be positively changed.

Some people have more of a tendency to worry and think negatively, others find it creeps up then seems to take over.

Anxiety is not a sign that something is wrong with you – it is often a sign that your system has been under pressure for a period of time.

How to Find the Right Anxiety Therapist in Ely

by Dan Regan | Mar 30, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

How to Find the Right Anxiety Therapist in Ely (What to Look For)

If you’re looking for an anxiety therapist in Ely, the most important things to look for are experience with anxiety, a clear and calm approach, and someone you feel comfortable talking to.

Whether you’ve never had therapy before, or you’ve done some things but still struggle, taking the step to look for support can feel like a big decision.

You may have already been thinking about it for a while – or perhaps things have reached a point where you feel ready to get help.

Either way, one of the most common questions people ask is:

“How do I find the right anxiety therapist for me?”

In this article I’m drawing upon my fifteen years of helping people in Ely and Newmarket to cover what to look for in an anxiety therapist.

Why Health Anxiety Feels So Real

by Dan Regan | Mar 29, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

Why Health Anxiety Feels So Real (And Why Reassurance Doesn’t Last)

Health anxiety feels real because your brain is trying to protect you. It focuses on physical sensations and treats them as important, even when they are harmless. You can very quickly become certain that there is something very seriously wrong with you.

When I talk to my health anxiety clients in Ely, they often tell me how their health anxiety can quickly take over. They see or hear something about a medical issue and start to become hyper focused on their own body and physical sensations.

They start to become convinced that they are experiencing something similar. Their anxiety leads them to worry that a headache is a sign of a brain tumour or a chest pain is a sign of heart disease. The more focused upon it they become, the more real it seems. Seeking medical help is a regular occurrence, only to be told each time that everything is fine.

Even when they’ve been reassured that everything is okay, the doubt can quickly return. The results must have missed something or another test is needed to find out why they feel so bad.

Thoughts about your health can feel persistent, urgent and difficult to ignore. All the adverts and mentions of cancer, heart disease and other serious medical issues seem to pop up all the time, sparking the cycle of health anxiety.

Health anxiety feels real because it is driven by the body’s threat system, not just your thoughts. You feel so anxious that your mind starts to seek the cause of the worry. And your imagination will always find something to latch on to, leading to even more anxiety. You focus upon your body even more and start to notice even more. It can take over your thinking.

The anxiety over your health itself leads to physical sensations in your body. These anxious feelings can easily lead you to become even more convinced that something is very wrong.

Health anxiety is not just about concern and worrying about your health – it is driven by how the brain responds to anxiety, uncertainty and physical sensations.

Intrusive Thoughts and Anxiety

by Dan Regan | Mar 25, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

Intrusive Thoughts and Anxiety: Why They Happen and How to Calm Them

Have you ever had a thought that seemed to appear out of nowhere and felt difficult to ignore? Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts, yet with anxiety they can seem more real and more vivid.

Intrusive thoughts are a common part of anxiety. They are unwanted thoughts that feel real and important, but they are not a reflection of who you are or what you will do.

We are all thinking all the time and all sorts of random things can float into our awareness. Yet with anxious intrusive thoughts, you may find your own thoughts scare you.

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images or ideas that seem to appear suddenly and feel difficult to ignore. They can be distressing and can feel confusing or alarming.

They can feel very real, very personal, and often completely out of character. Many people worry that having these thoughts means something about them – but in reality, intrusive thoughts are a common part of how the mind responds to anxiety.

Many people experience intrusive thoughts at some point, and having them does not mean anything about you as a person. However the cycle of intrusive thought and anxious feelings can mean that you struggle to move on and focus on something else.

How to Calm a Panic Attack in the Moment

by Dan Regan | Mar 23, 2026 | Anxiety Stress and Panic Attacks

How to Calm a Panic Attack in the Moment

Many people struggle with how to calm a panic attack in the moment. It feels overwhelming, frightening and like you are out of control. You hope you won’t feel that uncomfortable again but you worry about it happening. After each panic attack, you feel exhausted and frustrated..

When panic strikes, you might suddenly notice your heart racing, your breathing becoming tight, and a strong sense of panic rising in your body. You may feel hot or cold, shaky and weak in your legs, and an overwhelming urge to leave the situation..

In that moment, it can feel as though something serious is happening. Panic sensations feel intense but they are a natural alarm response from the body and will pass..

And although panic attacks feel intense, there are simple ways to help your body settle..

In my work as an anxiety therapist in Ely, I help people to change the psychological patterns so that panic happens less and less. Combined with this, you need to be able to nip the thoughts and feelings in the bud before they rise. This helps you to control how you feel and to diffuse any rising anxiety..

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