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Coping With Grief

Coping With Grief

by | Jan 21, 2014 |

As many of you will know, I lost my dad to cancer last November. It’s naturally led me to think about grief and the impact of losing someone close to you. I’ve probably written elements of this article in my head dozens of times over the past months.

And because it is probably the most personal article I’ve written, I’ve hesitated to actually publish it until now. I’ve only put this here now because losing a loved one is something we all have to face at some point in our lives and I hope that these words may be of help to others.

The stages of grief

It’s often said that there are different stages of grief, from numbness, denial and isolation, through pain, anger, sadness and acceptance. I’m sure I experienced most of these at different times in a varying order and to different degrees.

Of course there is no requirement to experience all of these elements of grief. Indeed, I remember working with one lady who had lost her partner and was

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What you can learn from Scrooge

What you can learn from Scrooge

by | Dec 18, 2013 |

You are probably quite familiar with the story ‘A Christmas Carol’ by Dickens and there will be many film adaptations on over Christmas (my favourite is the black & white version with Alistair Sim!).

And you’ve all heard of Scrooge, who was mean spirited until visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future which prompted him to then change his ways.

Most people can easily pick up on the message of being kind to others and having a kindness of heart and spirit towards others (although whether most people remember this for long into the New Year may be a separate question!).

For my mind, the most useful thing we can learn from Scrooge is the ability to take some time to review our lives and decide whether the life we are living is the one we truly want to live, especially in the future.

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I Am Legend – A Case of the Vampires!

I Am Legend – A Case of the Vampires!

by | Dec 13, 2013 |

I’ve just finished reading the book ‘I am legend’ by Richard Matheson (which, by the way, is 100 times better than the film!).

In the book, the central character finds himself alone in a world of vampires. The novel is all about his struggle to survive and the internal mental battles he faces. And the whole time he faces the risk of those pesky vampires getting hold of him.

Which got me thinking about something that my clients often mention to me.

Often they tell me about the people in their lives who seem to suck the very life (or at least their time) out of them.

Does this resonate with you?

Maybe it’s the people at

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A Major Case of the ‘Not Bad’s’

A Major Case of the ‘Not Bad’s’

by | Dec 10, 2013 |

Recently I was working with a client who had come to see me because he wanted to let go of his stress and anger, and start feeling happier and calmer.

As I usually do, I asked him how his day had been, how things had gone since our last session and a few other questions to learn how much better things were since the last time we chatted.

To each question his response boiled down to ‘not bad’.

How often have you asked someone how they are, how their day has been, how something went at work or even about how their holiday was – and all you get is a ‘not bad’ (or maybe a ‘not bad thanks’ if you are lucky).

And, I suppose that if you think about it

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Running for MacMillan Cancer Support

Running for MacMillan Cancer Support

by | Sep 11, 2013 |

On 6th October I’m going to be running the Cardiff Half Marathon to raise as much money as I can for MacMillan Cancer Support.

Why I’m running

My Dad has untreatable lung cancer. The doctors have done all they can and have told him that all they can do now is make him comfortable.

He was diagnosed with cancer over two and a half years ago and over that time has had chemotherapy and other treatments. Sadly they couldn’t keep the cancer from spreading.

Over the past couple of years he’s gone from a happy, active, engaged person to a shadow of who he was. I’ve seen him fade physically and mentally the longer he has become a prisoner to the cancer.

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You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

You’ve Got to Accentuate the Positive

by | Jul 18, 2013 |

Would you like to feel happier more of the time?

We know that the more you focus on something, the more of it you notice and the more it becomes a part of your experience.

Just ask anyone with depression or who is unhappy or low and they’ll tell you how bad things are and how they can’t seem to imagine life ever getting any better in the future.

It seems to me that we often spend our days operating in some sort of reverse gear in our minds – instead of focusing on all the good things, we spend most of our time and thoughts engulfed in all the things that are going wrong or that we think will go wrong.

You only have to watch the news on TV or pick up a paper to engulf yourself in tales of disaster and gloom.

And it’s a useful little experiment to notice how many

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Do you have the time to feel better and better?

Do you have the time to feel better and better?

by | May 14, 2013 |

If there was a way to feel happier and healthier every day could you find 30 minutes in your day?

What if it also gave you more energy, reduced stress and you could lose weight too?

A recent survey for the walking charity, The Ramblers, found that one in four adults walked less than an hour a week.

Now, assuming those people didn’t do any other form of exercise, that’s a whole lot of time spent sitting on their backsides!

Whether it’s at your desk, in front of your TV or in the car, it’s no secret that

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Could you be sleeping better?

Could you be sleeping better?

by | Mar 4, 2013 |

March is the Sleep Council’s National Bed Month…but maybe you are too tired to care?

You probably already know the importance of a good night’s sleep so you wake in the morning generally feeling ready for the day. In fact, it’s often suggested that alongside water and food, sleep is equally as important in enabling you to function effectively.

But if you aren’t getting enough sleep right now, everything seems that much more difficult doesn’t it?

You may feel irritable, lethargic, anxious, depressed or stressed as you struggle through your day, looking forward to getting home and getting to bed. But then when you get into bed

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Are you an optional extra in your own life?

Are you an optional extra in your own life?

by | Feb 28, 2013 |

Are you an optional extra in your own life?

You may have 101 things that you need to get done today, or a list as long as your arm or maybe you can’t even cope with thinking about how much there is that you need to get done.

So many people I meet give every minute of their time and every ounce of their energy to work, other people and their other responsibilities.

And somewhere down at the bottom of your list, for when you get time to get around to it, you may have something like:

  • Sorting out your eating habits and losing weight
  • Stopping smoking
  • Finding time to relax
  • Learning to manage stress
  • Developing more confidence
  • Or some other change to feel healthier and happier

Because you have so much to do for

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