Being Self-Critical – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket
Do you have a tendency to be self-critical in your thinking?
Whether it’s a component and linked to anxiety, low confidence, low self esteem, depression or just struggling to cope with things, being self-critical is often there contributing and exacerbating how bad you feel. You may generally be negative towards yourself, who you and what you do. Or you may find that when faced with an adversity or challenge, you go back to putting yourself down, blaming yourself and believing that you are at the cause of all of your struggles.
Being self critical can contribute to all sorts of mental health problems, as well as being a generally uncomfortable and unpleasant way to go around living inside of your own head. You can put yourself down, be harsh towards yourself, blame yourself and talk yourself out of doing things that you want to do.
Yet you may find that your thinking and mindset is very different towards those you are close to. It may be that you encourage and believe in loved ones, considering them to be capable and wanting the best for them.
And if a stranger walked up to that loved one and starting putting them down, telling them they weren’t good enough and they were a waste of space, would you just idly stand by and let that happen? Or would you tell them to do one and then reassure your close other that those things were nonsense? And if you wouldn’t let a stranger be critical towards a loved one, why on earth would you put up with being that negative and critical to yourself in your own head all of the time?
It’s a point I expand upon in this super short video. Click and have a watch here:
You wouldn’t let someone you care about take it from a stranger, so don’t let yourself take it from yourself! Start being nicer to yourself and more fair and balanced in your own thinking and self assessments.
Part of becoming nicer to yourself in your own self-talk and own judgement of yourself involves self-compassion.
Self compassion refers to having an accepting and caring orientation towards oneself. It’s about being kind to yourself and being able to use self-reassurance and self-soothing in times of adversity. It includes being non-judgmental about yourself and recognising your experience as part of the human condition. Being kinder to yourself and less self-critical, means you will likely feel more comfortable in your own skin and more at peace and relaxed in who you are, what you do and in what you consider to be important. You’ll feel worthy of your achievements and successes. And you’ll recognise that sometimes the things you do don’t go to plan and mistakes can happen, and even if you feel disappointment from this for a while, you’ll be able to demonstrate resilience and learn from it. Healthy self compassion has, unsurprisingly, been associated with beneficial effects on mental health and well-being.
In contrast, negative self rumination and being self-critical involve being harsh and judgmental about yourself and is associated with feeling isolated and exacerbating a sense of threat in difficult times. It’s been associated with many mental health problems, including anxiety and depression. When things go wrong, or when faced with challenges, you may struggle with anxiety, self-doubt and feelings of lowness.
I’ve covered more about self-compassion, research backed ways to promote it, and how it can help counter being self-critical in these two articles:
If you are fed up with being your own harshest critic, and instead you want to feel better in yourself, take action on your goals and know you can handle any challenges, then do get in touch and we can have a chat about making that happen for you.
To your health and happiness,
Anxiety Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket
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