What does self esteem look like? Hypnotherapy Ely & Newmarket

I help a lot of people who have low self esteem and confidence to learn how to feel better in themselves – to become comfortable being who they are.

So it was no surprise to come across a recent Daily Mail article with the headline, ‘How having a facelift can make you feel worse. Some patients who appeared up to nine years younger after surgery said their confidence didn’t increase.’

The article goes on to mention research that says that having a facelift doesn’t necessarily boost self esteem and can even leave you feeling worse (not to mention financially poorer).

Which supports the obvious conclusion that self esteem is more than skin deep. So what exactly is this elusive self esteem that people are often seeking?

 

Quick Summary

Many people assume self-esteem comes from appearance, achievements or what other people think of them.

In this article you’ll discover:

• what self-esteem really is
• why confidence and self-esteem are different
• why external changes don’t always create lasting confidence
• what healthy self-esteem looks like
• simple ways to start strengthening self-esteem

Many people spend years trying to fix how they look or what they achieve, only to discover the real issue is how they feel about themselves underneath.

 

Related Resources

You may also find these helpful:

• Confidence & Self-Esteem Hub
• Confidence & Self-Esteem Hypnotherapy in Ely
• Low Confidence and Anxiety: Why They’re Often Linked
• How To Build Confidence and Self-Esteem
• How To Tame Your Inner Critic
• Confidence Improvement Case Study
• Hypnotherapy Reviews in Ely

 

What is Self Esteem?

One of the biggest misunderstandings about self-esteem is that people often think it comes from external things.

They believe:

• “If I looked different, I’d feel better.”
• “If I was more successful, I’d feel better.”
• “If other people approved of me, I’d feel better.”

Sometimes those things can provide a temporary confidence boost. But lasting self-esteem tends to come from something deeper.

It comes from how you see yourself, how you speak to yourself and how much value you place on yourself regardless of what is happening around you.

That is why someone can appear successful, attractive or accomplished and still struggle with self-doubt underneath.

As research shows, self esteem and confidence aren’t just about how young you look or what’s on the outside. Although that’s not to say that making a positive change like having a make-over, getting leaner and fitter at the gym or buying a new outfit won’t give you a confidence boost for a while.

Yet to have and enjoy healthy self esteem through your life takes a bit more than that.

And this isn’t exactly a new idea. Maxwell Maltz, an American cosmetic surgeon, reported a similar thing back in the 1960s. His view, having noticed that successful cosmetic surgery didn’t necessarily lead to feeling confident, was that a person needed a positive self image otherwise limiting self beliefs would just continue and a person wouldn’t succeed in their goals.

Healthy Self Esteem

People with low self esteem tend to have a low opinion of themselves – they may consider that they aren’t good enough or worthy or don’t deserve to be happy and successful. They can be very self critical and assume everything that goes wrong is their fault.

By contrast, healthy self esteem is about recognising your worth, knowing that you have skills, abilities and valuing yourself. Some people describe it as feeling at peace with being themselves, even if you have areas of your life that you know you can improve and strengthen. It can also be about not taking everything personally and being ok with the fact that other people may have different opinions and views to you , but that doesn’t make your opinion any less valid or valuable.

 

One Thing I Learned About Self-Esteem

When I struggled with social anxiety and low confidence, I used to believe that confidence would arrive once certain things in my life changed. I thought confidence would come from external achievements.

What I eventually realised was that confidence and self-esteem often grow when you become more accepting of yourself.

That doesn’t mean giving up on improvement. It means recognising that your worth is not dependent on being perfect.

Many people spend years trying to become good enough before allowing themselves to feel good about who they are.

The truth is often the other way around. When you start treating yourself with more kindness and respect, confidence begins to grow naturally.

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Self-Esteem

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the value and worth you place on yourself. It influences how you think about yourself, how you treat yourself and how you respond to challenges, setbacks and criticism. Healthy self-esteem does not mean believing you are perfect. It means recognising your strengths, accepting your imperfections and knowing that your worth is not determined by every success or failure, or by the opinion of others.

What is the difference between confidence and self-esteem?

Although the two are closely connected and often used to describe the same things, they are not exactly the same thing. Confidence is often about your belief in your own capability and trusting yourself in specific situations, such as speaking in public, attending a social event or taking on a new challenge. Self-esteem is broader and relates to how you feel about yourself as a person. Someone can appear confident in certain situations while still struggling with low self-esteem underneath.

Can anxiety affect self-esteem?

Very often. When anxiety is present, people tend to become more self-critical, doubt themselves more and focus on perceived mistakes or shortcomings. Over time, this can gradually erode self-esteem. As anxiety reduces, many people find they become more comfortable with themselves and their confidence naturally begins to improve.

Why do successful people sometimes have low self-esteem?

Because self-esteem is not determined solely by achievements, appearance or success. Many people achieve impressive things but still feel they are not good enough, worry about being judged or constantly compare themselves to others. Lasting self-esteem tends to come from how you view yourself rather than what you achieve.

Can self-esteem improve?

Absolutely. Self-esteem is not fixed. Many people strengthen their self-esteem by reducing self-criticism, challenging unhelpful beliefs, recognising their strengths and becoming more accepting of themselves. Small changes in how you think about and treat yourself can have a significant impact over time.

Can hypnotherapy help self-esteem?

Many people find hypnotherapy helps reduce anxiety, self-doubt and negative patterns of thinking while increasing confidence, self-belief and emotional resilience. As those unhelpful patterns begin to change, self-esteem often improves naturally.

 

Increasing Self Esteem

In a future article I’ll discuss some ways you can increase your self esteem (without plastic surgery!). Yet for now just start to become more at ease with yourself. Start to notice your successes, the things you are most grateful for, the things you value the most about yourself and your life and tell yourself that right now, you are doing ok (becasue as they say in the advert – you’re worth it).

If low self-esteem, self-doubt or anxiety have been affecting your life, support is available.

You can learn more here:

• Confidence & Self-Esteem Hub
• Confidence & Self-Esteem Hypnotherapy in Ely
• Hypnotherapy Reviews in Ely

Or arrange a free initial consultation to discuss what might help.

To your health and happiness,

Dan Regan

Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket

 

Struggling with anxiety, stress, worry and fear and need some help? Find out how I can help with a Complimentary Hypnotherapy Strategy Session. Learn more here: Appointments

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