How Social Anxiety Tricks You – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

When I used to struggle with social anxiety, I would find most social occasions an anxious, worry-inducing struggle. I would worry beforehand about what people thought about me, I would constantly try and ‘read’ what others were thinking about what I was doing and saying whilst I was with them, and then I would dwell and replay situations in a negative way after the event.

I was constantly worried about not being good enough and being judged negatively by others.

Yet from an early age I thought that somehow I could push myself through it.
If you’re looking for support with social anxiety in Ely or Newmarket, you can find the main information page here: Social Anxiety Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket

You can also read real client experiences here: Hypnotherapy Reviews in Ely.

 

Quick Summary

Many people with social anxiety spend years trying to push through their fear.

They:

• force themselves into situations
• hide how anxious they feel
• try to appear confident
• hope the anxiety will eventually disappear

Yet the anxiety often remains.

This article explains why social anxiety can trick you into believing you’re making progress when the underlying pattern hasn’t really changed.

 

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

If only I could put myself into more situations that pushed me outside of my comfort zone I’d be ok – I’d get used to it and then it would become normal.

At school I went through a period when I set myself a challenge to say at least three things in each lesson.

At university I would have an extra drink and hope to relax enough to ‘switch off’ the social anxiety – yet there it was back again the next morning as I went over and over what I might have said and done the night before.

I became a parish and district councillor, I went to interviews and delivered presentations at work.

Yet at the end of it all, there was the social anxiety.

It still leaked into my thoughts and self talk, it still limited my actions and limited my life. It felt like there was a ‘real’ me that only came out when I was on my own or around a few trusted others with whom I felt totally comfortable.

And that is the trick of social anxiety – no matter how hard you try and push through it or fake it until you make it, there it still is crowding your mind, generating your anxiety.

Looking back, I wasn’t lacking courage. If anything, I was constantly pushing myself into situations that felt uncomfortable.

The problem was that although my behaviour changed, the anxiety pattern underneath remained the same.

I could attend the meeting, give the presentation or go to the social event, but internally I was still monitoring myself, worrying about what people thought and analysing everything afterwards.

From the outside it looked like confidence.

Inside, it still felt like anxiety.

 

Still Feeling Trapped By Social Anxiety?

If social anxiety has been affecting your confidence, relationships or enjoyment of life, support is available.

You can learn more here:

• Anxiety Hypnotherapy in Ely
• Social Anxiety Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket

Or arrange a free consultation to discuss what might help.

 

Related Social Anxiety Articles

You may also find these helpful:

• What Social Anxiety Really Feels Like
• Why Social Anxiety Feels So Exhausting
• Social Anxiety and Self Criticism
• Why We Think People Notice Us More Than They Do
• Social Anxiety vs Low Confidence
• How to Stop Overthinking in Social Situations
• Anxiety and Worrying What Other People Think
• What is Social Phobia? Understanding Social Anxiety

You can also explore the Anxiety in Ely hub, which brings together articles covering social anxiety, panic attacks, overthinking and other common anxiety experiences.

 

Overcoming Social Anxiety

To break free from social anxiety you need to get it at its root rather than just trying to deal with the thoughts and behaviours. Otherwise you are still left with those worries about what other people think, that fear of being judged negatively and living your life with limits.

To end social anxiety you need to change your belief that you aren’t good enough, lack worth or don’t deserve to be happy. And once you know that you are good enough, you can relax, be yourself and start enjoying life more and more.

One of the biggest shifts for me was realising that confidence wasn’t something I needed to force.

The more the anxiety reduced, the more confidence appeared naturally.

I stopped spending so much time worrying about what others thought. I stopped analysing everything I said and did. I became more comfortable being myself.

That is very different from simply pushing through fear.

When the underlying pattern changes, social situations stop feeling like something to survive and start feeling like something you can genuinely enjoy.

If social anxiety has been causing worry, avoidance, overthinking or fear of judgement, a free initial consultation gives us the opportunity to talk things through and understand what might help.

To your health and happiness,

Dan Regan

Anxiety Therapy and Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket

 

Struggling with anxiety, stress, worry and fear and need some help? Find out how I can help with a Complimentary Hypnotherapy Strategy Session. Learn more here: Appointments

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