Social Phobia – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket
Social phobia, which is sometimes also called social anxiety disorder, is characterised by the dread, fear and anxiety that comes before and during social situations.
At first, you may be keen and excited about an upcoming social situation, especially if it is some way off. But then as it gets closer you start to worry about it. It could be about being judged for your appearance or what you may may or do when you go out. You start to worry about making an idiot of yourself, having nothing to say, struggling to meet people or being there and feeling uncomfortable.
Your anxiety drives your imagination to start thinking of all the things that could go wrong. There are just so many potential pitfalls and opportunities to mess up. It doesn’t matter if it is a social thing, work thing or something else. You worry about being judged and what others think. You don’t feel good enough. And your social phobia can make it seem easier to make an excuse and avoid it. You get the immediate relief from escape but the social anxiety persists.
For a long time I used to struggle with social phobia. I got good at masking it from others but would worry about them noticing or pointing out my anxiety, discomfort or quietness (which would be the worst possible thing to happen for someone with social phobia). I would worry before an event about what to wear, how I’d look, what I’d say and whether I would have anything to say or just be seen as quiet and boring. Sometimes I would just cancel. Other times I would go and feel on edge, and anxious. I would scan to check no one was watching what I was doing. I would feel uncomfortable and sweaty. The overthinking about what I was saying and doing, and what others were thinking about it, was intense.
Afterwards came the negative analysis and self criticism. I would find myself worrying about what I may have said and how others perceived it. I could feel anxious about seeing that person again. I would overthink, dwell and find myself going over and over perceived mess ups and things that just confirmed I wasn’t good enough. There was a constant stream of inner critical and negative self talk. It ran on and on in my head.
You probably have those certain people you are comfortable around. With these people you can just relax and be yourself. Yet, with social phobia, that persistent dread, fear and anxiety about social situations limits you and makes you uncomfortable. You excessively worry about being messing up or being judged. You just can’t relax and enjoy social situations.
Like all anxiety, there is the habitual pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviours that create the self re-enforcing, ongoing cycle of social anxiety. However, it is very possible and achievable to take back control over your own mind so that you feel more calm, confident and in control.
Social Phobia and Social Anxiety Disorder
Social phobia involves a persistent and excessive fear of social situations where you feel like you may be judged, scrutinised or criticised. You feel anxious, stressed and worried about these situations. This leads to avoidance or excessive overthinking, worry and dread.
You can struggle with excessive self-consciousness, fear of failure and being negatively evaluated. You avoid certain situations, but then you may worry what people think because you pulled out or aren’t there. When in these social situations, you run a constant stream of inner dialogue that can stop you communicating and listening effectively.
You struggle with physical symptoms like a rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, discomfort and sweating. This can add to your worry because people may notice you are uncomfortable and so you start thinking they may think you are a failure, an idiot or weird in some way.
It isn’t exactly known how social phobia is caused, however, previous experiences of being bullied, criticised, singled out or mocked can all play a part. At some point you start thinking you aren’t like other people who seem to find social things so easily. You start to believe that you aren’t good enough and this then dictates what you do and how you do it. This then confirms to you that you struggle with social situations. It can impact on your ability to form relationships, join in and enjoy social situations and how well you perform certain aspects in your study or work.
It can drain the enjoyment from your life because you spend so much time lost inside your own head. All of you thinking, focus and imagination spirals with what could go wrong and how catastrophic it would be if you were judged negatively by others or you socially fail in some way.
Help For Social Anxiety
It’s normal to experience some nervousness before a big meeting or presentation. And it’s common to feel a bit of adrenaline from the excitement of a social occasion.
But with social phobia, your heart can race, your mouth goes dry and you struggle to think. You’ll hate those moments when you feel in the spotlight and everyone is looking at you. Just the thought of making small talk at a party may leave your stomach in knots and you may avoid it altogether. Occasional moments of discomfort are one thing, with social anxiety these thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming and an ever present battle. Even some everyday interactions can be enough to spark the fear, worry, overthinking and dread.
All of those social interactions cause you great irrational anxiety as you worry and worry about being judged, embarrassed or humiliated in some way. The situations may vary but can even include everyday situations such as eating in front of others, talking on the phone, asking for help, accepting compliments, introducing yourself or giving an opinion.
Whatever the social situations that generate anxiety, you fear being judged, scrutinised or found to be lacking. You don’t want to stand out and you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. You will avoid some social situations and intensely worry about upcoming events, sometimes weeks in advance.
However, because the science and evidence shows that it is an irrational anxiety, it is very possible to change those patterns that currently overshadow your life.
I’ve covered the topic of social phobia and anxiety in these previous articles:
Overcoming Social Anxiety – Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket
Self Compassion and Social Anxiety – Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket
Ed Sheeran, Social Anxiety and Feeling Like A Zoo Animal
Social Anxiety – Why We Need More Than Just Conversation
Can Being Kind To Others Reduce Social Anxiety? Hypnotherapy Ely and Newmarket
Can Other People Tell How You Feel? Anxiety About Looking Anxious
Do Others Judge You As Harshly As You Think When You Mess Up? Anxiety & Fear of Failure
Social Anxiety and Worrying What Other People Think
If social phobia and anxiety are stopping you from relaxing, feeling comfortable and being yourself then hypnotherapy may be what you need to overcome the anxiety.
Hypnotherapy can help you to interrupt unhelpful thought patterns and to take control over what goes on inside of your own mind. You can calm your feelings before and during social situations. You can prime your mind to feel more comfortable in yourself and to be yourself. You are good enough, you are worthy and you are capable. As you feel more relaxed, you start to enjoy social situations more and you handle whatever comes your way. You feel happier and feel capable of taking action towards achieving your goals.
Social phobia hypnotherapy teaches you how to take control over your thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions so that you feel calm, confident and in control in social situations. Rather than being things to avoid, they become things you can purposefully look forward to and enjoy.
To your health and happiness,
Dan Regan
Award Winning Hypnotherapy for Anxiety Ely & Newmarket
Struggling with social phobia, anxiety, stress, worry and fear and need some help? Find out how I can help with a Complimentary Hypnotherapy Strategy Session. Learn more here: Appointments
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