Dan’s Blog

Has Alcohol Become Your Crutch?

Has Alcohol Become Your Crutch?

Many of my clients, when they first come to see me, use alcohol as an external method of trying to control bad feelings – they feel anxious so have a drink to relax and try and calm their thoughts, they drink a few before meeting up with friends to feel more confident, they need a drink at the end of the working day to unwind and so on.

The problem comes when it isn’t possible to not have a drink, their health starts to suffer, they start forgetting parts of the evening or they find they can no longer go without a drink.

If you want to break this cycle then here are a few starters:

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7 Ways To Improve Your Sleep

7 Ways To Improve Your Sleep

Do you have trouble sleeping?

If you are anxious, worried, stressed or feeling low, sleep can be one of the main things affected. And the less well you sleep the more tired you become and the harder it is to cope. You may also start to worry about not getting enough sleep and the impact this will have for you – and so you create a cycle of feeling anious about sleeping, which leads to not sleeping and more anxiety.

So here are seven simple things you can do to improve your chance of a good night’s sleep:

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Do you have a fear of giving blood?

Do you have a fear of giving blood?

A couple of months ago, I worked with a client who suffered with a massive level of health anxiety. She avoided anything to do with the doctor, dentist or optician because the fear and worry was too overwhelming.

And by far the biggest fear she had was about giving blood. It was unimaginable for her – just the thought of it made her anxious and worried. There were all sorts of imagined fears around needles and blood whirring through her mind.

Yet after just a few sessions she had been to the dentist for a check up, had her eyes tested AND given blood (and enjoyed it!). Amazing!

Giving Blood

I may be up on my soap box with this one a bit but please bear with me because it is important.

If you are anything like me then giving blood is one of those things you mean to get around to doing (unless you suffer with needle axiety or blood phobia in which case you don’t!).

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Are you a ball of anxiety?

Are you a ball of anxiety?

One of my clients told me recently that she felt like a tightly wound up ball of anxiety. She constantly felt on edge, restless and tense and couldn’t find any peace from feeling that way.

No matter how much she tried to distract herself for a while, all those unwelcome thoughts and feelings kept coming back.

However, that soon changed when she used the process below to find more and more inner calmness.

The Anxiety Ball

Here’s what worked for her and if you struggle with anxiety then you can benefit too:

anxiety ball

 

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Why Hypnosis Can Be Bad For You

As you would expect I’m a great believer in the power of hypnosis to help you manage emotions, end anxiety, boost self-esteem, increase confidence and in helping you to achieve your goals. It’s a belief that is shared by my clients (you can read what people have said for more).

But everyday we go into ‘trance’ like moments and sometimes you may not appreciate your own internal power to hypnotise yourself negatively. 

Have you ever:

  • Felt nervous before an upcoming social event, presentation or exam?
  • Found your mind wandering and procrastinated when you should be getting on with something?
  • Thought of your future and felt a bit depressed because it doesn’t seem on track?
  • Felt angry about something you need to talk to someone about?
  • Found yourself worrying or stressing at night so you can’t sleep?
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Instantly Feel More Confident

Instantly Feel More Confident

Have you ever had one of those situations in a meeting or when talking to someone when you feel tense, uncomfortable, anxious and you just want it to be over?

Or maybe you sometimes feel that some people are more intelligent or somehow better than you and when you speak to them you get a bit lost in your own thoughts, maybe even not saying much because you don’t want to look stupid?

And then you kick yourself because someone else suggests the same thing you were thinking and everyone responds positively. It could have been you who said it!

Putting People On A Pedestal

Obviously there is nothing wrong with admiring somone who is gifted at some skill, or wanting to learn from them.

However, recently I was working with a client who felt way, way down the pecking order at work and put everyone on some higher level in her mind compared to herself.

In meetings she would be reluctant to speak because her managers had been doing it longer, knew more and she thought she would make an idiot of herself. She would try to avoid giving her opinions and even try and avoid speaking to senior managers or others who she felt knew so much more than her. 

In these situations she would feel tense and anxious. Sometimes somone wlse would say the very thing she had been thinking and she’d mentally kick herself about her failure to speak up.

So how did we easily change this?

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How I helped Steve Miller end his 40 year phobia

How I helped Steve Miller end his 40 year phobia

If you suffer with a phobia or fear then you will know the levels of anxiety that can arise and you will probably do all you can to avoid the particular thing or situation. You may even feel anxious just talking about your phobia.

Recently I worked with Steve Miller, who you may recognise as the presenter of Sky 1’s ‘Fat Families’ as well as from his books, magazine articles and other TV appearances.

Steve had suffered with a phobia around blood and a phobia around needles for forty years. When we first met he couldn’t even say the words ‘blood test’ without getting anxious and on edge. 

In the video below, Steve talks about how he now feels about his old phobia after working with me for two sessions.

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Be In The Now

Be In The Now

How much time do you spend dwelling on the past and worrying about the future? Sometimes it can seem like all our time is spent looking back or looking ahead and never taking the time to be in the moment – where you are right now.

If you spend too much time looking back it may make you feel sad, depressed, low or even hopeless. And  too much time lost in future worries can lead to anxiety, stress and worry. You may also find that you put happiness and health on the ‘never-never’ – it becomes something you hope to have in the future without doing anything about it right now.

A Time And A Place

It can be useful to look back over the past to see how we have grown and moved on, to remember challenges we’ve overcome and successes we’ve achieved and to learn for the future.

It can be useful to think to the future to help us plan to successfully achieve what we want to in life.

However, it is alos important to make sure you spend some time in the current moment – in the now. We can forget to enjoy the moment and miss opportunities to experience gratitide. love and happiness. When you are more in the now, fears about what might happen in the future start to diminish and feelings from the past are put to one side or behind you.

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How To Stop Anxious Thoughts

How To Stop Anxious Thoughts

If you struggle with anxiety then you will be very aware of the two main symptoms that come with anxiety – those anxious feelings that you notice in your body, and the anxious thoughts that race through your mind.

Everyone is very different in how and when they experience their own anxiety – for some the feelings and thoughts are a constant burden through every moment of the day whilst for others they may come and go or be more acute in specific situations.

So when someone with anxiety comes to see me they are desperately seeking relief from the physical feelings and the worrying thoughts.

Your Stressed Brain

The simplest way to explain anxiety is the state in which your mind is on high alert looking out for any sign of danger so it can take action to keep you safe and protected. Of course you probably aren’t in any actual, real danger but your mind can’t tell the difference between worrying about a hungry wolf coming towards you and all the worry and stress that you are experiencing from work, family and all the other areas of your life.

Your mind registers all that stress, worry and anxiety and gets ready to take action – and so your body responds by getting you ready to move, and your breathing increases, you get hot and sweaty, the adrenaline pumps around your body. You notice all these things and start to interpret them as anxiety, which causes more worry and stress and leads to more physical symptoms and a cycle develops where the feelings and thoughts feed each other and fuel each other.

Anxious people often talk about thier brains feeling full or lilke cotton wool, how they have trouble concentrating and how tired they feel. It’s like having a stressed out brain working as hard as it can and therefore has no room for anything but anxiety.

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