How To Live A Fulfilling Life Free of Regret
As Frank Sinatra sang, ‘Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention…” Just like Frank, we can all have some regrets in life. We can think back on different decisions and choices we could have made and wonder how things could have been different.
Although, of course, we have to remember that we can all be a little guilty of romanticising things turning out better and of colouring our imagined past with more positivity than might be realistic. Yes, we can all have some regrets, things we put up with for too long, the path we didn’t take, the courage we lacked, or the other choices along the path of our lives. There can also be many, many positives throughout our lives and things we are glad about or pleased in how we’ve lived and what we’ve stood for up to now.
If I find myself regretting some past thing (“if only I….”), I deliberately remind myself that I did the best I could at that time, and that I made the choices and decisions that seemed best or right based on who I was then (or I wouldn’t have made them). I remind myself that I’m thinking back in a distorted way and that there is no benefit in second guessing myself or living in the past, and that I know more now with hindsight than I did back then. And then I remind myself of all the good things that may not have happened or that I might have missed had I travelled a different path up to now.
Even if we forgive ourselves and accept what has happened, that doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from pausing and taking stock of our lives for the future. All too often we get stuck on the busy treadmill of life, moving from one task to another, forgetting the bigger picture and longer term within the mass of responsibilities, tasks and distractions. Rather than waiting until many years from now, when it may be too late to do anything but regret, you want to know that you’ve lived a life that’s full, that you’ve travelled each and every highway to live a fulfilling life and much more than that, that you did it your way (yes, I’ve ripped a bit off Frank in that last sentence).