I Am Legend – A Case of the Vampires! Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

I’ve just finished reading the book ‘I am legend’ by Richard Matheson (which, by the way, is 100 times better than the film!).

In the book, the central character finds himself alone in a world of vampires. The novel is all about his struggle to survive and the internal mental battles he faces. And the whole time he faces the risk of those pesky vampires getting hold of him.

Which got me thinking about something that my clients often mention to me.

Often they tell me about the people in their lives who seem to suck the very life (or at least their time) out of them.

Does this resonate with you?

Maybe it’s the people at work who are always asking for your help so you stop what you are doing and help them. And then you get a bit stressed because their work is done but yours isn’t.

Or maybe it’s those people you can’t say no to – and they know it don’t they? So they always contact you asking for help and you have to forget your own plans because you can’t tell them no.

Or maybe it’s those friends that you spend time with. The ones who ‘dump’ all their emotional baggage on you so by the time you leave you feel exhausted and you no longer feel like you have the energy to get things done.

Or maybe it’s someone else who seems to drain you of time, energy and happiness.

These are the vampires in your life and you need to drive a stake through how things have been and find new ways that allow you the freedom to help others when you can and choose to, without leaving you tired, stressed and jaded afterwards.

How to manage the vampires in your life

So here’s what I suggest:

1) NOTICE: Identify the vampires in your life – who do you come into contact with who drains you of time and energy and leaves you feeling worse after you’ve been in their company.

2) DECIDE: Decide which vampires to tackle first. Your room for manoeuvre may vary depending on who it is. For example, your approach to your manager may be very different to that of a friend. But which are the areas that are going to get you feeling the best the quickest?

3) ACT: Do something different! As the saying goes, if you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always got. And it’s insane to expect different results when you do the same things.

So think through some different approaches you can try:

• Instead of saying ‘no’ when someone asks you for help, open up some space for you by agreeing to help them at a later agreed time when you’ve finished what you are doing.

• Plan what you will do in advance – imagine watching yourself calmly and confidently saying ‘I’d love to but…’ or some other words that allow you to balance their needs and your own.

• Consciously plan to limit the amount of time you spend with people who drain you – have a reason to leave prepared, choose a venue where you can stay calm, take someone else to change the dynamics.

• If you do feel drained after, imagine taking all that feeling and throwing it far into the distance, over and over, until you feel calm again.

Are you happy? 

And it’s important to be clear – I’m not saying never help anyone or start cutting people out of your life! You’ve got to decide whether you are happy having the time and energy drained from you – is it a price worth paying? If it is, carry on. If not, start thinking of some ways to look after yourself even as you help others.

Best wishes

Dan Regan

Hypnotherapist & Coach

Hypnotherapy Ely, Cambridge, Newmarket

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