Why Phobias Can Feel So Intense (And Why They’re Not Logical)

If you’ve ever struggled with a phobia – whether it’s heights, spiders, injections, flying, enclosed spaces, or something else entirely – you might have wondered why the fear you feel can seem so intense, even when the danger is minimal or nonexistent. It doesn’t make sense logically, and that paradox can leave you feeling frustrated or worried.

Fears and phobias are pretty common things. You may have learnt to live with it or just to avoid things. Yet even this can be uncomfortable if your phobia feels intense just when things get mentioned in conversation or you see something related on a screen. You live on edge and in fear of having to face your fear. And when that day comes, as it so often does eventually, you struggle with anxiety beforehand and either bail out or find yourself an anxious wreck as you try and do things that others seem to do so easily.

You may know when and why your phobia started. However, it’s far more common that at some point, probably when young, it started and then at some point it became problematic and limiting. The same thoughts, feelings and behaviours repeat when you see, hear or think about it.

You know that your fear is irrational but that knowledge doesn’t change anything. Your phobia feels intense. The way your brain works means that emotions always triumph over logic. Panic, tears, shaky legs, racing thoughts, heart palpitations and sleepless nights can all happen.

Many people I work with in Ely and the surrounding Cambridgeshire area describe the intensity of their phobic reactions as one of the most confusing and overwhelming aspects of their anxiety experience.

 

Why phobias feel intense and go beyond ordinary fear

A phobia is more than just being afraid. It’s an overwhelming, automatic fear response to a situation, object, animal, or event that most people wouldn’t find threatening. Phobias are thought to develop when the nervous system learns to treat a specific cue as dangerous even though it isn’t in itself harmful.

Often this starts when young. You see, hear or experience something that creates a link between fear and that thing. Even if you don’t remember the first thing that triggered it, the pattern continues to repeat.

Because the body’s alarm system (the ‘fight-or-flight’ response) is designed to protect you from real threats, it can react very strongly – even if the threat is only perceived rather than real. This survival mechanism was useful when our ancestors faced real danger, but it doesn’t always switch off as quickly when the danger isn’t actually present.

This is the frustrating part of phobias. You know there is no real danger or threat, yet your brain and body react as if this is a life or death moment. Your brain overprotects you because it is better to act in case there is danger than to not act when there actually was some sort of real threat. It’s the human evolutionary equivalent of better to be safe than sorry.

 

Why the fear feels so strong

When a phobic trigger appears, the body releases stress hormones, your heart rate increases, breathing becomes rapid, and muscles tense – all without you consciously choosing this response. This can feel intense because your nervous system is responding as if there were a life-or-death threat.

Your mind and body quickly prepare you for action to tackle the threat. Your body prepares for action yet, in modern times, there is probably no action to take. This is especially true when dealing with perceived threats – there is usually nothing to fight or run away from. Your body is designed to respond this way and you remain medically safe. Yet it feels overwhelming, disorientating and confusing. You may even find yourself fearing becoming fearful.

What makes this especially confusing is that your rational mind might know deep down that there’s no real danger, yet your body reacts as though there is. This mismatch is part of what makes phobias feel so overpowering.

 

Why reassurance alone often doesn’t help

Telling yourself ‘it’s safe’ or repeating logical reasoning can feel ineffective because phobias are not primarily driven by conscious thought.

They’re driven by automatic nervous system responses that happen before your thinking mind even fully registers the situation.

It’s similar to how you can jump at a sudden loud noise before you’ve had time to think about whether it’s real danger or not. The body reacts first, and the mind follows.

In addition, because emotions like fear take over, no amount of reassurance or logic helps until you feel safe and calm again. When faced with a threat, it is better to act than stop and think. Only when can you feel more calm can you think more clearly again.

 

How phobias can ease over time

Phobias don’t necessarily disappear overnight, and they don’t always respond to reason alone. But the intensity can reduce as your nervous system learns that certain triggers aren’t actually dangerous.

Rather than trying to convince yourself logically that you’re safe (which the nervous system ignores), approaches that help retrain the nervous system to interpret triggers as non-threatening tend to be more effective. This is why therapies that gently expose you to fear cues in a controlled way – combined with calming practices  can lessen the fear response.

Old triggers, such as seeing or hearing about your phobia, become calm and ordinary. The thought of a previously fearful situation becomes something you feel okay around as you imagine it. And then you find yourself able to deal with actual situations calmly and confidently. Your mind learns to tag these things as the safe experience they actually are.

 

A calm path forward

If you can relate to intense phobic responses – especially those that get in the way of activities, holidays, fun, confidence or calm – it can help to know that the fear is not a sign of weakness or irrationality. It’s an inadvertently learnt automatic survival response that has become over-protective. It can be unlearnt and changed to something more calm and balanced – something you feel fine around just as you do with so many other things.

If you’d like to explore this further, you may find it helpful to start with a broader understanding of how fear and anxiety work together:
👉 Understanding anxiety in Ely: Anxiety and fear responses

And if you’re curious about support that specifically targets phobias with a calm and structured approach, here’s more about available help:
👉 Fears & Phobias Hypnotherapy in Ely

If your phobias feel intense and overwhelming right now then it is possible to change. You can get to a place where you feel calm, confident and in control in your thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions about the things that were once so limiting and problematic.

To your health and happiness,

Dan Regan

Anxiety Therapy and Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

 

Does your irrational phobias feel intense and overwhelming? Could you use some help with your anxiety? Find out how I can help with a Free Consultation: Appointments

Find out what hundreds of other people have said after their fear and phobia hypnotherapy sessions with Dan: Hypnotherapy Testimonials

And check out these popular and powerful hypnosis downloads that can start helping you right away with anxiety, confidence and more: Hypnosis Downloads