Worrying What Other People Think – Thoughts From The New Forest

A few weeks ago I was on holiday down in the New Forest with my family and recorded a video whilst out exploring all about worrying what other people think.

This is something that comes up a lot when I work with people on issues around anxiety, low confidence and low self-esteem. It might mean worrying so much about being judged that you don’t do something you’d like to be doing, or don’t contribute and say what you want to. You might worry when you are actually around those people and find yourself second guessing yourself inside of your head or trying to ‘get things right’ before you say or do anything. And you may well dwell on things afterwards and either judge yourself harshly for how you feel you did, or else worry that others are thinking badly of you in some way.

I know I used to do all of these things and more when I struggled with anxiety and low self-esteem. In fact, I almost thought there was something seriously wrong with me because of how I was around other people and for holding back and doubting myself when I should have just got on with it.

And as it’s something that has come up a lot in sessions recently, here’s my short video where I share some thoughts about worrying what other people think about you:

Worrying about what other people think about you can be one of the most insidious issues that creeps into your mind and your thinking. It stops you doing things and makes you doubt yourself when you could be getting on with your life feeling happier and more fulfilled and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

As I mention in the video, often our thinking goes askew. We can read things into what other people might do or say and do that we then interpret and internalise negatively. And often our thinking is plain wrong, exaggerated or just misleading. So remind yourself that you’re ok as a person (more than that, you are great!), that you don’t need approval to be you or to achieve your goals and begin to challenge the kind of unwanted habitual stuff that may have been going on inside your head.

In addition, I’ve written before about how our minds can get things wrong when it comes to how much attention other people are giving to how we look and what we say and do. Check out the research here: Why You Should Probably Worry Less About What Other People Think About You – The Research on Fear of Failure and Being Judged. I was only telling a client the other day how I think this research is something everyone should know about and one of the most powerful and positive things that you can apply to your own thoughts, feelings and actions.

The New Forest is a truly awesome place isn’t it? You may have also watched this other video I recorded whilst there (the day I got totally lost and ended up wandering around the forest trying to find my way!): Boosting Mental Health in the New Forest

I think these two monkeys enjoyed their time there too!

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There’s nothing I love more than being in the great outdoors, spending time and exploring with these two. And if I have one hope for them both, it’s that they will grow up doing what they want to do and not being fettered by the opinions of others (real or perceived). In these days of constant social media, this may be a challenge yet it’s certainly one that can be conquered, and I wish that freedom for you too.

To your happiness,

Dan Regan

Hypnotherapy in Ely & Newmarket 

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