When Anxiety Feels Out of Control: How to Know What Really Helps

Sometimes anxiety can feel like it has taken over. It can show up as constant worrying thoughts, sudden panic, physical symptoms, avoidance, or a feeling that you’ve lost control of your own reactions.  Many of my anxiety clients in Ely and Newmarket tell me how their anxiety can feel completely out of control, even when they know there is nothing to actually feel fearful about.

Anxiety can stop you doing things because situations begin to feel unpredictable or outside of your control. And as well as external things, some people think they are going crazy or losing control because they can’t settle their thoughts and feelings. Their mind races with worst cases and potential catastrophes. They struggle to deal with their own thoughts as their mind jumps from one worrying thing to the next.  Anxiety also brings all the unpleasant physical symptoms such as feeling shaky, restless and tense. Your chest feels tight and your heart races. It’s no wonder that the short term relief from avoiding things can seem like the best option when you are in an anxious moment.

You can get a sense of dread before doing things, while your mind anticipates everything that might go wrong. Your mind jumps from one imagined catastrophe to the next. Even when you feel okay, you still feel anxious because you know your anxiety is still lurking and could strike again at any time. You even start to worry about the possibility of feeling anxious. Even if you know logically that everything is fine, those thoughts and feelings can continue. And because anxiety works on patterns, it can start to feel like it becomes more automatic and more habitual.

Your confidence plummets, your sleep is broken, you stop doing things and you feel fraught and exhausted.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone – and the most important thing is knowing that anxiety can be helped. The next step is understanding what tends to make the biggest difference.

 

Quick Summary

When anxiety feels out of control, it can seem as though your thoughts, emotions and body are no longer listening to you. The good news is that anxiety follows recognisable patterns, and those patterns can be changed.

In this article you’ll discover:

• why anxiety can suddenly feel overwhelming
• why worrying about anxiety often makes it worse
• why your nervous system feels “stuck” on high alert
• what genuinely helps calm anxiety
• how to begin taking back control

One of the biggest turning points is realising that anxiety isn’t a sign you’re losing control. It’s your body’s alarm system working far harder than it needs to.

 

Related Articles

I’ve also written more detailed articles about:

• Anxiety Support Hub
• Fear of Losing Control and Anxiety
• Physical Anxiety Symptoms
• How To Calm Anxiety In The Moment
• Hypnotherapy Reviews in Ely

 

Why Anxiety Can Feel So Out of Control

One of the hardest parts of anxiety is that it often feels as though your own mind has turned against you.

• You don’t choose to worry.
• You don’t choose to feel panicky.
• You don’t choose for your heart to race or your stomach to churn.

Yet it can seem as though your thoughts and feelings have a life of their own and all you can do is try and endure it and cope with it.

That’s because anxiety isn’t simply about thinking. It’s a whole-body survival response.

Once your brain believes there might be danger, your nervous system automatically begins preparing you to deal with it. Your breathing changes, your muscles tense, adrenaline is released and your attention becomes focused on potential threats. Those threats may exist entirely within your own thoughts, focus and imagination – what might happen, how bad it could feel and whether you’ll be able to handle it.

The more often this happens, the more your brain begins expecting danger.

Eventually, anxiety can start feeling as though it’s controlling you rather than the other way around. Fortunately, these patterns can be changed.

 

Why Anxiety Becomes a Cycle

One of the reasons anxiety can feel so relentless is that anxiety itself soon becomes the next thing you fear. You feel so bad that you dread having to deal with all those unwanted thoughts and feelings again.

The cycle often looks like this:

• You notice anxious thoughts or physical sensations.
• Your mind immediately asks:
  • “What if I can’t cope?”
  • “What if I panic?”
  • “What if I lose control?”
• Those frightening thoughts create even more anxiety.
• Your body releases more adrenaline.
• The physical sensations become stronger.
• Your brain then treats those stronger sensations as proof that something must be wrong and the cycle continues.

Before long, you’ve become caught in a self-perpetuating cycle where anxiety creates more anxiety. You start to dread it and expect it. Anxiety can become associated with particular situations, people or places, so that eventually even thinking or hearing about them prompts your mind to prepare for danger.

The encouraging news is that once you understand this pattern, it begins losing much of its power.

 

 

Anxiety is Not a Personal Failure

Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness. In many cases it’s just a learned pattern of the nervous system – a system that has become used to staying on high alert. Over time, the body can begin responding as if threat is still present, even when it isn’t.

This can leave you feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated that you can’t simply ‘switch it off’.

Common physical anxiety symptoms may include:

• chest tightness
• racing heartbeat
• tension and restlessness
• exhaustion even without activity

It’s like you can’t control your own mind and body anymore.

Anxiety can affect people in many different ways, which is why understanding how anxiety works often helps people feel less overwhelmed by it.

You may also find this article helpful: Fear of Losing Control and Anxiety

 

What Actually Helps

A common question people ask is: ‘What will genuinely help – not just in the moment, but longer-term?’

Here are approaches many people find effective:

 

1. Understand What Anxiety Is Doing

Understanding removes much of the mystery.

When you recognise anxiety as an overprotective nervous system rather than a sign you’re broken, it becomes much easier to respond calmly instead of fearfully.

 

2. Calm Your Nervous System

Anxiety isn’t solved through willpower alone or by just hoping it will go away.

Controlled breathing, relaxation, hypnosis or self-hypnosis, exercise and good sleep all help your nervous system spend more time in its natural calm state. With a calmer nervous system, the unwanted feelings lessen and you can think more clearly.

 

3. Change the Anxiety Pattern

Long-term recovery comes from changing the patterns that keep anxiety alive.

That means learning how to interrupt, change and influence your own anxious thinking, reducing avoidance and so helping your brain stop treating safe situations as dangerous ones.

 

One Thing I Learned About Feeling Out of Control

One of the biggest misconceptions I had was believing I needed to somehow force myself to stop feeling anxious. But the harder I tried to fight it, the stronger it seemed to become. At times I would hope it would somehow eventually just pass and at other times I thought I was just broken and destined to always be anxious.

I would tell myself:

• “Calm down.”
• “Stop worrying.”
• “Get yourself together.”

And sometimes I would be much more critical towards myself, especially after my anxiety had got the better of me. Avoidance would often be my main strategy – I would call in sick to avoid a presentation, rehearse interview answers over and over until I sounded unnatural and robotic, and do whatever I could to avoid making an idiot of myself. If I could get away with not talking in a group situation then I would do so. It was like a part of me was holding me back and stopping me being myself and doing the things I wanted to do.

Of course, none of that worked because anxiety isn’t something you simply switch off through logic.

Looking back now, I realise what I actually needed wasn’t to fight the anxiety. It was to understand it.

Once I understood why my body was reacting the way it was, I gradually stopped fearing the anxiety itself.

Ironically, that’s when I began feeling much more in control.

 

The Good News

One of the biggest changes people notice isn’t that anxiety suddenly disappears overnight.

It’s that they gradually stop feeling controlled by it.

Instead of feeling anxious about every anxious thought or physical sensation, they begin recognising what their body is doing and responding differently.

As confidence grows, anxiety usually becomes less frequent, less intense and much easier to recover from.

Many people eventually find themselves doing things they once thought anxiety had taken away from them.

 

Frequently Asked Questions

Can anxiety really make you feel out of control?

Yes. Anxiety can make your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations feel overwhelming. However, feeling out of control doesn’t mean you’ve actually lost control. It’s a recognised part of the body’s anxiety response.

Why does anxiety seem to control my life?

The more you fear anxiety, the more your brain stays alert for signs of danger. Over time this can make anxiety feel as though it’s taking over, even though the underlying patterns can be changed.

Can I learn to control my anxiety?

Many people become far more confident in managing anxiety once they understand it and learn practical ways to calm their nervous system and respond differently to anxious thoughts. The aim isn’t to control every thought or feeling, but to stop anxiety controlling how you live.

Can hypnotherapy help anxiety feel more manageable?

Many clients tell me that as their nervous system becomes calmer, anxiety feels much less overwhelming. Hypnotherapy can help reduce anxious thoughts, physical tension and the automatic anxiety patterns that keep the cycle going.

When should I seek professional help?

If anxiety is regularly affecting your work, relationships, sleep or everyday life, it’s worth seeking support. The earlier anxiety is addressed, the easier it often is to prevent it becoming more established.

 

Support for Anxiety in Ely and Newmarket

Anxiety doesn’t have to continue feeling uncontrollable.

In my anxiety therapy work in Ely and Newmarket, I help people understand the patterns keeping anxiety active, calm the unwanted physical feelings and become more confident in managing their own thoughts and reactions.

You don’t need to be certain about therapy before getting in touch. A free initial consultation is simply an opportunity to talk through what has been happening and explore what might help.

You can learn more here:

• Anxiety Support Hub
• Anxiety Hypnotherapy in Ely
• Hypnotherapy Reviews in Ely

Or arrange a free initial consultation to discuss what might help.

To your health and happiness,

Dan Regan

Anxiety Therapy and Hypnotherapy in Ely and Newmarket

 

Could you use some help with anxiety in Ely, Newmarket or Online? Struggling with anxiety, stress, worry and fear and need some help? Find out how I can help with a Free, no pressure, relaxed consultation: Contact Dan

Find out what hundreds of other people have said after their anxiety hypnotherapy sessions with Dan: Hypnotherapy Testimonials

And check out these popular and powerful hypnosis downloads that can start helping you right away with anxiety, confidence and more: Hypnosis Downloads